Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Sunday, April 22, 2018

When I Close My Mouth


When I Close My Mouth

When I close my mouth,
I don’t eat Snickers Bars,
or York Peppermint Patties,
I don’t sing off key,
I don’t speak outlandish words,
and I don’t put my feet
where they don’t belong.

If I’m going to open my mouth,
I’ll enjoy the song and sing
with abandon.
I’ll eat spinach (maybe)
and whole grains.
I’ll say words that esteem,
and build up, and encourage,
and I’ll guard my words so that
I avoid the taste of shoe leather.


Something to think on, in less than one minute.


Offering Hope
Encouragement
Inspiration

Tuesday, January 05, 2016

Never Say This

Some things just don’t need to be said – ever.  Check these out.



~“Want to go for a run” said to someone 40-pounds overweight

~“Why don’t you try this kale?  It’s good for you.”

~“Honey, it’s time to get up.” Its half past 4 (am)

~“Why don’t you stand up” (said to a short person who is standing up.)

~“Did your grandkids paint that picture” when looking at a Jackson Pollard masterpiece.

~“Don’t give up your day job” said to me by others who read my less-than serious poems for the first time.

~“Seriously – you’re not going to date him/her are you?”

~“Why don’t you drink some carrot juice instead of that milkshake?”

~“Are you really going to eat that whole hamburger by yourself?

~“Let’s go for a drive in the countryside” said to a husband on Superbowl Sunday.”

~“Please don’t compete in that pageant. People will laugh at you.”

~“You’re an accident looking for a place to happen.”

~“Don’t cry” says the boyfriend as he is breaking it off with his girlfriend.

~“Want some carrot juice to help wash down that piece of chocolate cake?”

~“Take this medicine.  It’s good for you, and it doesn’t taste all that bad.”

~“Is that really your real hair?”



P Michael Biggs
Offering Up-Moments
One Moment at a Time


Monday, April 28, 2014

Postlude

In music, a “postlude” is the final prt of a piece of music.  Often in a church service one will hear a postlude, often performed on an organ. 

A concluding passage in a speech can often be referred to as a “postlude” as well.

I’ve had to sit through a few postludes in boring sermons, and I’m not talking about just one postlude.  Once, there was this preacher and I tell you he did about six postludes.  He was what you might call “wound tight” and had a lot to say.

Most postludes, however, are mostly pleasant to endure.


P Michael Biggs
Offering Up-Moments
One Moment at a Time


Monday, March 24, 2014

Dotted Note

According to the WIKI, a dotted note is a note with a small dot written after it.  In modern practice the dot increases the duration of the basic note by half of its original value.

In life, that would be like taking a vitamin that extends your life by half again.  Wow!  I’ll take two please.

Got it?

Get it!

And now this …




P Michael Biggs
Offering Up-Moments
One Moment at a Time


Friday, March 21, 2014

Coda

Coda is an Italian word for “tail” and in music it primarily designates a section of the music that brings the piece to an end.

I've wished a few times that movies had a coda that I could execute right on the spot. 

And occasionally I wish for a “coda” button to push in church to end a boring monologue called a sermon.

And now, perhaps, you are wishing for a “coda” button of your own to end this blog. 

And with that …

Bye!

P Michael Biggs
Offering Up-Moments
One Moment at a Time


Friday, February 28, 2014

Forte

The musical term “forte” means in a loud forceful manner.  I would probably tell my orchestra to play “Joyful Joyful We Adore Thee” in a forte mindset.  That tune is meant to be played loudly and forcefully, and joyfully also.

If my house was on fire, I would probably use a “forte” voice, maybe even a “fortissimo” voice.  “Fortissimo” simply means ‘even louder than “forte”’.

I've know a few “forte” people in my time.  They were simply loud, often even very loud. 

My Mom would have declared my drums as “fortissimo” when I first got them.  Poor Mom, God rest her soul.

There is a time and place for everything – even “forte” and “fortissimo”.

Choose … wisely!
  
P Michael Biggs
Offering Up-Moments
One Moment at a Time


Monday, February 24, 2014

Dolce

“Dolce” in musical terms means “sweetly and gently”.  If you think of Brahms’s Lullaby you would immediately grasp the meaning of “dolce”.

You were probably “dolce” on your first date with your mate.  Hope so at least.  In a job interview you generally want to be “dolce”. 

If you work retail, you generally want to treat your customers with a “dolce” like attitude.  Now that does not always apply to used car salesmen however.

My grandkids all demonstrate “dolce” in their behavior – even the boys.  But of course, they are perfect grandkids. 

I love being around “dolce” people, don’t you?

Come hang around me sometime.  I’ll give you a slice of “dolce” and you will like it!

Let’s be sweet and gentle out there, you hear?
  
P Michael Biggs
Offering Up-Moments
One Moment at a Time


Monday, February 10, 2014

Piano

“Piano” is a musical term meaning “played or sung softly”. “Pianissimo” is its first cousin and that means “play even softer”.

Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven begins at the dynamic level of “piano”.

When I use music to help fall asleep, it generally needs to be “piano” in volume. 

The Seattle Seahawks won the Super Bowl this year.  Seattle is being touted as one of the noisiest crowds at a sporting event.  Don’t go to a game expecting to be soothed and calmed.  You won’t hear “piano” at a Seahawks game.

Ah, but after the game, when you get back home, put on your happy pants, slip into your favorite chair or sofa, and play whatever music brings a “piano” moment for you.  Just before dozing off, be sure and change to some “pianissimo” so you are not awakened from your dreams.

P Michael Biggs
Offering Up-Moments
One Moment at a Time


Friday, January 31, 2014

Allegro and Presto

In musical terminology “allegro” and “presto” have to do with the speed of a piece of music.  My on-line dictionary tells us “allegro means in a quick, lively tempo, usually considered to be faster than allegretto but slower than presto.”  The acceptable speed for allegro is 120-160 bpm. 

"Presto" means extra lively and quickly. the acceptable speed for  presto is 160-208 bpm.



I suppose “allegro” would be like running a marathon, and ‘presto” would be like running the hundred yard dash.

You would move at “allegro” speed if you were rushing into the mall to get out of the rain.  You would move at “presto” if your house was on fire and you were upstairs when it started.

I ran “presto” when I first met Carolyn.  She captured my interest and I wanted to be near her.

What are your “allegro” moments verses your “presto” moments?

P Michael Biggs
Offering Up-Moments
One Moment at a Time


Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Are You Well-Traveled


(Somewhere around 59 seconds to read)


Are you well traveled? 

Take a mental break and read this, thanks to my Facebook friend Patti Burch. 


I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to some people I know.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have never been in Doubt. That's a sad place, and I try not to visit there.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older! :  


P Michael Biggs
Offering a Light Moment
One Moment at a Time